[CURTAIN OPENS. Two friends are sitting across from one another at a kitchen table. In front of each of them is a white plate. In the center of each plate is a brown rectangle slice of something. The slices are warm and you can see a spiral of steam coming off of each.]
Guy 1: "What is scrapple?!" Why do you have to ask so many questions? Just eat it! Trust me, it tastes delicious and you're gonna love it.
Guy 2: [Stares blankly at the brown block. Blinks. Looks back up at his friend expectantly.]
Guy 1: My family has been eating this stuff forever. It's a fantastic breakfast meat. It's pork. Better than bacon! I swear to you. Just dig in.
Guy 2: [Picks up fork, taps the corner of his slice. The corner is hard. You can hear the tap of the fork. Looks up at his friend, a skeptical look on his face.]
Guy 1: That's how it's supposed to be. I cooked this perfectly: Nice and crispy on the outside but once you dig in it'll be so soft and warm inside.
Guy 2: [Digs his fork sideways into the slice and tears off a corner. Steam comes billowing out. He puts the fork down.] I heard it's made from...
Guy 1: [Cuts him off quickly] People say a lot of things about scrapple. Most of them have never tried it for themselves. Just take a bite! You're gonna love it!
Guy 2: [Puts down fork.] No. I'm not eating it until you tell me what scrapple is made of!
Guy 1: OK. But only if you promise me you'll still eat it after I tell you.
Guy 2: I promise! Tell me already.
Guy 1: Alright. It's, like, the scraps, trimmings and organs of an animal, in this case the pig. So scrapple is made of all the stuff left over after you've made everything else. Have you heard of offal?
Guy 2: [Cringes]
Guy 1: But there's no snouts! It's quite practical really. Using every part of the pig! Way back when, the Dutch and Germans would boil the left overs, add grains and turn it into a mush that they would let set into blocks of meat. You slice off some of that block, cook it up in a pan so it's nice and crispy on the outside and that's it!
Guy 2: [Pushes plate away] That's disgusting. I'm not eating this. [Gets up and walks off stage]
Guy 1: [Looks disappointed. Then eyes the left overs on his friend's plate. He shouts.] Does...does that mean I can eat your scrapple?
Photo by MyDigitalSLR via Flickr and Creative Commons